


There's Only One Coffin

by radioactivesaltghoul



Series: radioactive vampire aus [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Vampire, F/M, Humor, Mild Gore, No Pregnancy, Safe to Read if You're Triggered by Pregnancy, Strangely fluffy considering all the gore, Two-Braincell Energy, mild blood play, sharing a coffin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-13 13:37:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21495175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radioactivesaltghoul/pseuds/radioactivesaltghoul
Summary: Rey hasn’t really nailed the vampire lifestyle yet, so when her feed is interrupted in the early hours of the morning, she doesn’t have a lot of options for places to hide from the sunrise. The coffin she spotted in a well-lit mausoleum looks rather roomy.Too bad there’s already a vampire in it.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: radioactive vampire aus [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1548667
Comments: 73
Kudos: 254





	There's Only One Coffin

**Author's Note:**

> I can't even blame @reylo_prompts for this one; someone linked me the tweet (originally from @A_O_T_3_A_D) directly and [I couldn't stop laughing about it](https://twitter.com/r_saltghoul/status/1196116972452417536).
> 
> Content warnings: this is comedy, but there's a lot of talk of blood and blood play because they're vampires, so if that's not your thing, you may not like this fic.

5:04 AM

Not for the first time in the last month, Rey wished that whoever had turned her into a vampire had bothered to stick around and teach her how to do it properly. Maybe if she’d had a teacher, she wouldn’t be sprinting through a graveyard right now, covered in blood and trying to outrun the sunrise. It was poor luck that she was turned in May while living so far north, where there were only about eight or so hours of darkness this close to the summer solstice.

No matter how hard she tried, she hadn’t mastered the art of feeding without making a mess. Even as a human, her table manners hadn’t been great. Blame the absentee parents and, later, absentee foster parents for that one. _ True Blood _ had always made blood drinking look so easy, the fictional vampires somehow always managing to look sexy while sucking someone’s blood. In reality, it was actually pretty gross. Arteries sprayed a lot more than Rey had been led to believe.

Fortunately, one of the vampire powers that TV hadn’t lied about was the ability to compel victims into submission. Unfortunately, that was also something that Rey hadn’t quite figured out, which had resulted in tonight’s meal snapping out of a trance not too long after Rey had begun her meal. The man she’d been feeding off of was well-versed in the art of self-defense, and even Rey, with her lifelong skills in defending herself combined with her newfound vampire super strength, hadn’t been prepared for the way he’d walloped her. On a human, it would have given her a concussion for sure.

So yeah. She was running out of options as the sky lightened, the shadows starting to fade as the nighttime trickled away. With only a few minutes to spare, she ducked into a mausoleum. It was too well-lit for her to hide without extra protection, but there was a rather roomy-looking coffin in the middle of it that looked like it would do for the next sixteen or so hours. She slid the lid aside just enough to wiggle in, then pulled it back over just as the first rays of sun started to peek in through the mausoleum windows.

If she’d still been human, her heart would have been pounding with the effort of having her meal interrupted and then having to run away before the sun rose. As it was, she was still on high alert for sounds of a human running by, which made it all the more surprising when something reached up from below her and wrapped around her waist, pinning her in place while something cool and wet ran up her neck. It wasn’t until she felt a nose brush against her cheek that she realized it was a tongue, and she was laying on top of someone.

“What the fuck?” she yelped. She tried to pull herself up using all of her newfound vampire strength, but whoever was licking the blood off of her neck and chin had the same vampire strength.

“Shh,” the other vampire said. It was muffled; he apparently had not finished licking the remains of Rey’s dinner off of her neck. “I’m starving.”

Oh. That was something Rey could relate to. As weird as it was to have a complete stranger licking her neck and chin clean, she couldn’t fault him for wanting to eat, even if it was just someone else’s leftovers. She held herself frozen, afraid to relax into this stranger’s embrace.

Rey hadn’t had time to take stock of exactly how blood-covered she was, but it was made apparent when his mouth began to move down to her chest. As much sympathy as she had for someone’s starvation, letting a total stranger lick blood off of her tits was a bit much for her. “Watch it,” she snapped, trying her best to wiggle out of reach of his mouth.

The stranger froze, his lips barely touching her skin. “Oh,” he said, relaxing his grip on her. “Right. Uh. Sorry about that. I’ve been trapped in here. I hadn’t eaten in a while when I jumped in here to stay safe from dawn, and I’ve been too weak to pull myself out again. I assume you were in a similar state when you jumped in here as well.”

“It’s June and we’re in Vancouver,” she said. “Sunrise is just after five AM. I was out of options.”

“Ah. Makes sense.”

There was an awkward silence during which they both realized that Rey was still sprawling on top of him, and his arms were still wrapped loosely around her waist. Whoever he was, he was rather broad. The coffin would have been roomy for just Rey alone, but it was a rather tight squeeze for both of them combined. “Should we, uh—?” she asked, lifting herself up just a little bit.

“Oh,” he said, apparently only just realizing the rather compromising position they were in. “Right, should we—?”

They shuffled around until they were laying side-by-side, both of them pressed against the sides of the coffin. It was a rather tight fit that was somehow even more uncomfortable than sprawling on top of him had been. “This isn’t working,” they both said simultaneously.

“What do you suggest?” he asked, sounding rather annoyed.

“Uh,” she replied, thinking fast. “What if we spooned?”

“It can’t be any worse than this,” he muttered, shifting around until he was facing her. “Wait,” he said. “I thought you said—”

“I meant I’d be the big spoon.” It hadn’t even occurred to her that he would think otherwise. Rey hadn’t had much practice being the little spoon.

Or the big one, for that matter.

Vampire night vision was incredible, so Rey’s only excuse for not having taken a close look at the stranger was because it was awkward trying to look at someone when their tongue was attached to your neck. If the rather intense neck-licking hadn’t made it obvious what he was, the bright gold irises did. _ Huh, _ Rey thought, taking him in. It was still a bit of an awkward angle to check someone out from, but she liked what she saw. She could do worse for someone she had to share a coffin with for the next sixteen hours.

“What are you looking at?” he asked, sounding a little apprehensive.

“Your eyes,” she said. “They’re gold, like mine.”

“Well, yeah, we’re vampires, aren’t we?”

“You’ve met other vampires?” She couldn’t keep the excitement from her tone.

He studied her as well he could from this close. “You’re new to this, aren’t you?”

She grimaced. “Is it that obvious?”

“Sorry,” he said, sounding anything but. “My name’s Kylo, by the way.”

“Rey.”

“Thanks for bringing me leftovers, Rey.”

  
  
  
  


5:47 AM

“So,” Rey said. “You’ve been doing this for a while, then?”

“‘This’ being…?”

“Vampirism.”

“Ah.” They’d decided that it would be marginally less awkward if Rey was the small spoon, although Kylo was starting to regret that decision. He could still smell lingering traces of blood on her skin, and it was taking all of his self control to not motorboat her in an attempt to get more sustenance. Not that he’d _ mind _ motorboating her, to be honest, but she’d probably want him to buy her dinner first.

Or, rather, hunt her dinner.

“Six years, give or take,” he said. “There was a legend that my grandfather was so desperate to keep my grandmother alive when she got sick that he turned to vampirism for answers. She died anyway, and he went mad. Ended up getting beheaded by the village he lived in.”

“Damn,” Rey said, sounding awed. “So, what, it’s hereditary?”

“Nah, I was just obsessed with learning more about my roots, and my research led me to the same guy who turned my grandfather. I didn’t mean to become a vampire. It just happened.”

“So he’s still alive and turning people?”

“I assume so. I’ve made it a point to stay out of his path. Showing me how to hunt and stay hidden properly was one thing. Convincing me to create a thrall of humans under my command was a little too much for me.”

She didn’t respond, but the _ what the fuck _ was evident in the way she tensed up. “I take it he didn’t turn you?” he asked, hoping that he could calm her down by moving the conversation away from Sheev Palpatine.

“I don’t know who turned me,” she admitted. “I’m starting to think it was an accident. They didn’t stick around to train me, whoever they were. I realized something was wrong when I woke up with amazing night vision and a craving for blood.”

That explained the messy eating. “You need a teacher. I could show you the ways of vampirism, if you want,” he offered softly. He’d never trained anyone before, but Kylo had been doing this alone ever since he broke away from Palpatine years ago. It might be nice to try having a partner-in-crime again.

She snorted. “Ask that again after you’ve spent sixteen hours in a coffin with me.”

“Fifteen and a half, now.”

  
  
  
  


6:26 AM

“Now that I think about it, I could probably use some lessons in clean eating.”

“You think?”

“I don’t see why you’re complaining. You got breakfast out of it.”

  
  
  
  


7:08 AM

This wasn’t Rey’s first time having to spend the day curled up somewhere cramped until sunset, but it was the was the first time she’d had to share that space with someone. On days when she’d had a good feed the night before, the time passed quickly, as she spent most of the day asleep. Between the meal getting cut short last night and the large vampire she was currently crammed up against, it was going to take a miracle for her to sleep through this.

And they still had fourteen hours to go.

“Why are you in Vancouver in the summer, anyway?” Kylo asked. Vampires didn’t need to breathe to survive, but speaking required air moving through the vocal tract. She could tell he was trying his best to maintain a respectful difference, especially after the way he’d nearly gotten to second base with her earlier, but his breath was still chilly on the back of her neck. She couldn’t feel cold now that she was dead, but the small action made her shiver anyway.

“Didn’t have anywhere better to go,” she admitted. “I’ve been living here for a year, but I was only turned last month. I’ve been sticking around in hopes that whoever turned me may come back for me.”

“Oh.”

She could tell that he wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so she added, “I don’t know why I’m surprised. Maybe they didn’t even know they’d turned me instead of killing me.”

“I’ve never turned someone, but it’s hard to do by accident. You have to die with vampire blood in your system.”

“Huh,” Rey murmured. “Score one for _ The Vampire Diaries, _ I guess.”

“Sorry?”

“Never mind.”

  
  
  
  


8:31 AM

“I’m originally from Vancouver, by the way.”

“Hmm?” Kylo could tell that Rey hadn’t expected him to pick the conversation back up again, but being a vampire messed with your sense of time. She hadn’t been dead for long enough to stop thinking like a human, he supposed.

“That’s why I’m here,” he explained. “I’ve been gone since before I was turned. I never really got along with my family, so it wasn’t a difficult choice to leave.”

He wasn’t sure why he was telling her any of this. It was a rather personal thing to say to a complete stranger. But maybe that was why it was easy to tell her these things, because she had no preconceived notions of who he was or what he was supposed to be like. It was only when he found himself talking about returning for his father’s funeral that he realized how long it had been since he’d actually had a quality conversation with someone else.

“Sorry,” he said when he realized how much he was info dumping on her. She probably wanted to sleep, if she’d eaten during the night. Now that he’d had a little bit of blood, he actually had the energy to be awake, but they were trapped until the sun set.

“Oh,” she said, turning her head to glance at him out of the corner of her eye. “No, it’s fine. I don’t mind.” He was sure she was only saying it to be polite, though, so he clamped his mouth shut, resolving to be silent and let her sleep.

  
  
  
  


9:53 AM

Rey was experiencing something she hadn’t experienced since before she was turned: the need to stretch.

It had to be psychological, she knew. Her body was in peak physical condition, aside from the whole “being dead” thing. She’d assumed that Kylo was snoozing, but he was awake enough to notice her fidgeting. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“It’s rather cramped in here.”

“It’s not my fault you didn’t check if the coffin was empty before you jumped in.”

“The sun was coming up, asshole. I would have died.”

“You’re already dead.”

Rather than struggle to think of a witty retort, she pressed her arms backwards, brushing against his sides in the process. He was as cold as stone, like she was, but she could feel how muscular he was through the thin fabric of the t-shirt he was wearing. Interesting.

“What—” he started to ask, but he cut himself off with a sharp inhale as she arched her back, contorting her body so that she was practically grinding her ass against his hips.

She smirked, feeling satisfied despite the cramps that were still forming. “Sorry,” she said, knowing she didn’t sound it at all. “I needed to stretch.”

  
  
  
  


11:01 AM

It was really unfair of Rey to take up so much room for such a small person. If Kylo hadn’t known any better, he would have thought that she was deliberately trying to get in his personal space, as little as there was in this situation. He was starting to feel like he’d been better off half-dessicated, the way he had been up until six hours ago.

He could still smell the traces of blood clinging to her skin. The fact that it was now dried and sticky didn’t make a difference; he needed it. She must have fed enough to keep her from noticing it, otherwise he was certain she’d be trying to find a way to lick the blood off of her own chest. It was driving him mad, but at least he still had enough self-control to stop himself from asking if he could clean her tits with his tongue.

Shit. That was definitely not something that he needed to have floating around his mind right now, given that he might have had enough blood that his body was capable of having an erection. He’d never really gotten into the sexual aspect of vampirism, although if media was anything to go by, that was a huge draw of the vampire genre. He couldn’t get enough of a read on Rey to know if she was into that or not, but he really didn’t want to be thinking about that right now. “So,” he asked, hoping to get his mind off of Rey’s blood-covered tits. “Got any hobbies?”

  
  
  
  


12:14 PM

“So let me get this straight,” Rey said. “You have a degree in swords?”

She couldn’t see his face, but she had a feeling he was scowling at the back of her head. “It’s a doctorate in medieval weaponry. I had to learn a lot of Latin for it.”

“That’s the best thing I’ve ever heard. Kylo, you’re a total nerd.”

“Stop laughing at me.”

“I’m not, I promise. Hey, can you teach me to fight with a sword?”

She practically felt him relax as he realized she wasn’t making fun of him. “I thought you wanted me to teach you how to feed?”

There was a tension that hadn’t been there a moment ago. They hadn’t spoken about their post-sunset plans and despite their awkward meeting, Rey didn’t want to just go their separate ways after this. Maybe Kylo didn’t, either. “Why can’t I ask for both?” she asked, keeping her tone light. “You said you’re planning on sticking around Vancouver for a little while, yeah?”

“Are you so set on staying here forever?”

She didn’t answer. She’d been hanging around because she was waiting for her new vampire family to come back for her, but Kylo was the first vampire she’d met. “You really didn’t turn me?” she asked instead of answering his question.

“No. I would have remembered you, if I’d fed on you. And I told you, I’ve never turned anyone.”

What did he mean, he would have remembered her? Was he..._flirting _ with her? Did vampires even do that? Kylo was right; she did need a teacher. “Let’s give it a try,” she said. “Stick around Vancouver for a little while. Teach me basic vampire life skills. Then we’ll go from there.”

“Really?” He sounded hopeful. It was the first time she’d ever heard someone sound hopeful at the thought of sticking around for her, come to think of it. What a sad life she’d been living.

“Sure, why not?”

He didn’t respond, but she thought she could feel him relax into her a little bit. She did, too; she hadn’t been aware of how tense she’d been until now, despite all of the stretching.

It wasn’t like she’d always imagined spooning would be. They were both too cold for that, their vampire bodies as cold as death. But it was comfortable all the same, and relaxing made the day go by faster.

  
  
  


4:37 PM

The smell of blood was getting to be too much for Kylo. He and Rey kept chatting, the silences no longer feeling as awkward as they had initially. They’d both started to relax into each other as well, although he hadn’t quite worked up the courage to sling his arm around her waist like he wanted to. She was cute, and if he was being honest, he’d like the way she’d felt when she’d first landed in the coffin, straddling him with her blood-covered neck right in his face.

It might have been a little too soon to ask for this, but he couldn’t hold back any longer. “You...you know you’re still covered in blood, right?”

She tensed. He already regretted opening his mouth. “As we’ve established,” she said, her voice sounding a little tight, “I’m a really messy eater.”

“It’s...distracting.”

“Yeah.”

There was a pause where he tried to work out if he could ask her if he could clean it up without making it sound like he was assuming that agreeing to work together for a little while meant that they’d have anything more than a professional relationship.

By some miracle, Rey ended up being the one who suggested it first. “You still hungry?”

  
  
  


4:51 PM

It was a bit of an awkward fit, having Kylo at chest level. It had taken some maneuvering, but they’d managed to arrange themselves so that he was crammed down with his knees bent at an odd angle and her upper back was brushing against the top of the coffin. They were still on their sides with her knee slung over his hips, his hands gripping her waist while he lapped at the dried blood on her chest.

It felt...well, she didn’t want to make this sexual like all of the vampire stereotypes, but the sensation of his tongue and lips on her chest was making her shiver, and it wasn’t because they were cold. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything about it, but that could just as easily have been because he was distracted by the blood. The occasional scrape of his fangs wasn’t helping matters; it should have hurt, but it just felt good.

_ Huh_, Rey thought as Kylo started to suck at the bloodstained fabric of her shirt. _ Maybe I do have a vampire kink, after all. _

  
  
  


4:52 PM

This was somehow simultaneously more and less awkward than Kylo had expected it to go. Shit, he’d been _ hungry. _ As soon as sunset rolled around, he was taking Rey hunting. Not that this was a bad position to be in, necessarily. Rey didn’t seem to mind, in any case. She’d tangled her fingers in his hair, and was that a sigh he just heard as he sucked at her—oh. “Uh,” he said, pulling as much space between his mouth and her nipple as was possible in the confined space. “Sorry.” _ Fucking hell, _ he told himself. _ The first vampire you meet who doesn’t make you want to tear your hair out, and you assault her because she’s covered in blood. Idiot. _

“No,” she said, her voice sounding breathier than it had five minutes ago. “It’s—don’t worry about it.” She laughed nervously. “I know there’s a lot of blood everywhere. It’s, uh. I don’t mind.”

Kylo had no idea what to make of the implication that she liked having his mouth on her tits, but it was something he was suddenly _ very _ interested in exploring.

“I think my shirt is a lost cause,” she added.

“Probably.”

“Might be for the best if I just got rid of it.”

  
  
  


4:54 PM

As it turned out, removing a blood-stained t-shirt while crammed in a coffin with another vampire was not as easy as Rey had assumed it would be. “Stop laughing at me,” she said, her face tangled in the bloody fabric of the shirt.

“You’re shoving your blood-covered breasts in my face. I am most certainly not laughing at you.” She grunted in response, deciding that her best option was probably to give up. “To be fair,” he added, “I didn’t think you meant you wanted to get rid of the shirt immediately.”

“What were you thinking?”

“That maybe I could buy you dinner first. Or, well.” Now he was the one who sounded embarrassed. “Help you hunt for it, anyway.”

“Kylo,” Rey asked, grinning. “Are you asking me on a date?”

“Only if your answer is yes.”

“Was flashing you my blood-covered tits not enough of an answer for you?”

“No.”

“Yes. _ Yes. _ Now will you please help me get untangled from my own stupidity?”

  
  
  
  
  


9:22 PM

“I think it’s safe to get out now,” Kylo said. Vampires had an instinctual knowledge of when the run had risen and set, even if they couldn’t actually see the light outside. Even if he didn’t have that sense, he’d have known from how much time had passed since Rey had hopped in the coffin with him.

“Just when I was starting to get comfortable,” Rey quipped. They hadn’t tried any more clothing removal after the shirt fiasco, but making out was still fun fully-clothed.

“Are you saying you want to spend another sixteen hours in a coffin with me? Because if we can’t find a better hiding place in the next eight hours, we’re coming back here.”

“Oh, that’s all right,” she said as they slid the lid off of the coffin together. “I believe you said something about buying me dinner?”

“Hunting you dinner.” Kylo couldn’t keep a smile off of his face as he and Rey crawled out of the coffin, looking at the rapidly darkening mausoleum around them.

“Ah, yes,” she said, taking his hands in hers. “Come on, you poor, starving vampire. Show me how to hunt.”

“And then?” he asked, leading her out into the twilit graveyard.

“Your coffin, or mine?”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [r_saltghoul](https://twitter.com/r_saltghoul) on twitter and [radioactivesaltghoul](https://radioactivesaltghoul.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. If you liked this, I wrote another silly reylo vampire au called [Thirsty](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16410977).


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